Nightmare on Truellhof Strasse

“I have a small ‘program’ for you today” Sonja smiles when I finally drag my tired, ruffled body out of bed. It’s 10:30 and I’m kicking myself for not getting up before 08:00 when the hot water was turned off in the apartment block for maintenance over the next 3 days. A vision of cold showers brings chicken skin rippling around my body like a break dancers wave. It doesn’t help when Sonja energetically exclaims she was up before 8:00 for the last hot shower and has already been shopping for fresh breakfast rolls.

Back to the ‘program’ and a routine of chin-ups, push-ups and sit-ups springs to mind. We completed a 1.5 hour bike ride through surrounding villages yesterday before yoga and I’m wondering if Sonja is planning to up the ante every day. In Budapest, Rob’s 30 day challenge was to entice me with Pranayama of a different kind; Is Sonja also hoping to sabotage my sojourn, and is that really Vitamin B complex in those little brown smarties my nurse prescribed? Hmm I’ll have to watch this one!

Thankfully no, the program was to meet Erica, (Sonja’s boss) at the hospital for lunch and it had to be today! A weird request you might think, so let me explain: Erica was first enthusiastic about Sonja hosting a knock about Australian bloke, but pleasant thoughts were soon replaced by a nightmare involving a glinting knife, lots of blood and Sonja missing the next day of work. OMG, what?! So her boss had to vet me, making sure I didn’t own a knife, or if I did, would only be used for Crocodile Dundee acts of heroism, and more importantly Sonja would be remain as punctual and Swiss like, as usual.

So I meet Erica in the hospital cafeteria, sitting at a table of six, during a very busy lunch. I chuckle to myself: a safe place with nurses and doctors on hand, just in case I was to erupt in a psychopathic rage, jumping upon the table to reveal my weapon of choice perhaps? Ha ha, I was almost tempted to bring the ugliest blade from Sonja’s kitchen, just to pop on the table as we shook hands! But the thought of screams, mass hysteria and nurses flying through the air, spearing me with pre-prepared horse tranquilizers before waking in a padded room in the most clinical Swiss asylum, unfortunately prevented the comical thought from becoming even close to reality!

Instead I glinted my sweetest larrikin smile as we chatted about my love of Luzern, Erica and her husband’s 3 previous trips to Australia (including him cycling across the Nullarbor, Australia’s 4352 km wide desert – who’s the crazy one now?) and I pass the test with flying colours, minus the red of course!

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