Another month down and not just any: June, the halfway point! Shouldn’t I be all zen like, a lotus of tranquility, strong, buff and radiating yogic energy..? Maybe not!
“When we saw you, we thought, if that’s what doing Bikram Yoga everyday does to you, we don’t want a part of it!” Harsh words spoken more than once in the last few months, but I have to laugh, as I feel and see it in the mirror too. I’m worn out. One day it’s mental, the next physical, and lately it’s both. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I’m soaring with the clouds or floating in an ocean of relaxation. But lately these are few and far between.
But it’s an experiment too, this challenge. Bikram says, it’s a daily practice and I totally subscribe to that train of thought, but right now, I kinda feel like a break. As I rode to the studio one day in Luzern, I felt I was on the way to work! Haha, that was when I knew I’d hit new lows! During class, as I lay in Savasana, I was sprawled elsewhere, in a savanna being mauled by the beasts of pain, desperation and exhaustion. I knew I was losing it but before I could reel in my racing breath, thumping heart, and crushed will, I cried out in silence: “I’ve had enough.. I want a day off.. I need it.. just one day and I’ll be ok”.
I feel my practice has deteriorated and I’m sure the new progress pics will show this (I was even too tired to take them after class today). I feel slack, as if I just didn’t put the effort in last month and when I’m low, the good ol’ Catholic guilt kicks in: mind bashing me with not documenting the journey enough, not writing enough, “where’s the freakin video, Matt?!”
“Who are you doing this for anyway?” Aleksandra asked me on my last night in Luzern. Hmm good point. Time to reflect, regroup, regetoffmyass! Back to square one. Start again. What have I gained, what have I lost, and what do I want to do differently?
Giving up is not an option! Stay tuned folks, this month is going to be a killer.. whoo, yeah, pumped!!
We had a record today with 22 hot yogis in class! It may not sound like many, but it’s a 
The energy in the room was clearly buzzing before class and as I locked eyes with a few of the regulars, I could see they were equally impressed. Then we started and the heat wiped the smile off my dial real quick! I managed to resurrect it at least once each posture though, to refocus and relax as Liliane led us through yet another powerful class.
Here is an extra thought for all of you to ponder- This is a 30 day challenge, and come June 30th you will have officially reached your personal June goals. Just because the 30 days is over does not mean you should stop there. Come back for day 31, 32 and eventually it will become day 45 or even day 60! Imagine the possibilities then! You are all on such a roll, challenge yourself to take that extra step or two, come to class on July 1st.
I’ve just updated my 
Arriving in Switzerland was somewhat of a shock. I was feeling a little numb, not quite sure if I was ready (see Clean Slate) so what better way to throw myself into month five and the Global Bender by doing a double.
We go for dinner at a vegetarian buffet and I think, “Awesome, eat as much as you can lad”. I heap my plate high, each taste bud jumping up and down like excited little children, stomach palpitating. Timo directs me to the scales.. wtf, I have to weigh my plate? Oh shit! The bill shouts “47.00 Swiss Franks” and Timo exclaims, “A new record!”
